Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize