so that wasnt chicken after all
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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