Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Randomize
