she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
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