Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
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He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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