You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
