i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I understand Curling. That high.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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