let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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