my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
someone owes me an orgasm
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
