You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
