Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
