just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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