I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!