I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
So many bounce houses so little time
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water