I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.