five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
