I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
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Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
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Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
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