it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
