Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I am mentally ready for anal.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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