Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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