Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
