Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
