We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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