i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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