I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
Randomize
