College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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