I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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