Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
No I am not eating basil off your cock
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
Randomize
