I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
The chlamydia really affected his face.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
