just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
