watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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