He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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