Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
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