The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
