I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
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