You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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