Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
