I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
