My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
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