i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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