Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize