if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
