Whod you bang
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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