I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Randomize
