I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
