It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
