We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
