just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
