so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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