made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
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