He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
Randomize
