I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
