here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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