We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
