to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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