at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
