Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
