Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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