idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
what is it with giant penises always finding me
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
