I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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