I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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