is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
