Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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