Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
being pregnant is like rehab
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Randomize
