Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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