two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
